Monday, December 14, 2015

5 Common Wedding Day Regrets

 I couldn't think straight on my wedding day. Family and friends were swarming, photographers and videographers were commanding, and I couldn't form a cohesive thought beyond Wow we are married! My cheeks hurt and this dress is hot. And looking back on that beautiful marathon of a day, I remember all the things that I wanted to happen that didn't, whether because of time or lack of planning. Talking with my friends Bailie, Taylor, and Bonnie who also got married in 2015, I was surprised by how many regrets we had in common.

So, for the benefit of all affected by December the Proposal Month, I have compiled a list of our top 5 regrets and how to avoid them.

1.  Photography. My photo regret is the pictures that could have been: the classic bride-groom dip,  a silly picture with my bridesmaids, close ups of our rings. Somehow I missed out on all of these, and it makes me want to squeeze back into my dress and reenact them. To avoid this regret, make a list for your photographer of the pictures you absolutely have to have. Of course he/she will cover all the traditional shots, but if you want some specific, unique shots bring it up with your photographer the week before. I thought I'd remember the special ones that I wanted, but there was just too much to think about that day.

Taylor regretted not booking her photographer soon enough. After calling approximately ten photographers-TEN!-she finally found someone who wasn't booked for her wedding day. Her pictures turned out amazing, but don't leave that up to fate! That should be one of the first things you do after he proposes.

Taylor&Hailame, Summer Taylor Photography
2. Bridesmaids. Specifically the mismatched dresses scheme. The idea behind this is a fantastic one: bridesmaids get to chose something they can wear beyond the wedding that also shows their personality. And for some people this works great! But for me the word "blush" got interpreted a little too broadly: dark pink and peach somehow made it into the color scheme:) I still think it looked good, but if I could redo it I would select a few options and then let them choose out of those options. Mismatched, but not too mismatched.

Bailie had bridesmaid woes too. We went to high school together, and it was a well known fact that the men just love her:) She's just one of those cool, athletic, chill girls men flock to ya know? So she has lots of guys friends, but fewer female friends. When it was wedding time she felt like she needed to obey the custom and have a few bridesmaids. She said, "I probably would not have had bridesmaids. All my best friends were on their missions and/or guys. So I didn't exactly have a best friend that I was super close with. I had my roommates, but looking back I just wouldn't have done any." 

Weddings are becoming a lot less traditional, and if a gaggle of girls at your side isn't your thing than fret not, don't have any! It's your day, you get to make up the rules:)

Michael&Bailie, Terra Copper Photography 

3. A sneak peak of the bouquet. This was the TOP regret of everyone I asked! For Bonnie, Taylor and I our bouquets were smaller than we expected; while Bailee's was so heavy her arms got sore. My bouquet was lovely, but TINY. (See photo evidence below.) Taylor said it best, "I just regret that I wasn't more specific in telling her what I did and didn't like."

Realize that wedding pictures are immortalized; they pretty much become part of your family history. After being as specific as you can, ask your florist to show you a bouquet that will be similar to yours, so you're not surprised by the size or color the day of.

Bridal Bouquet

4.  A stricter schedule at the reception. Before the wedding we had made an outline of  the way we expected the evening to go, with the receiving line ending in time for the first dance, cake cutting, and bouquet toss. Because Tayler and I are from the same town, our line was a lot longer than we expected. Two and a half hours of hugs and wishes later, it was time for us to make our getaway, so we rushed through all the ceremonial things in about 10 minutes-darn huh?

Bonnie also struggled with this, without enough time for the guests to dance. She said, "I wish we'd had more time for the dance at the end, but we only danced a few songs. Usually at Mexican weddings everyone dances for a lot longer, but we just ran out of time."  A good idea would be to put a notice on your invitation of the schedule, and then put a dictator-ish someone in charge of making sure you follow it. 
5. A photo opportunity for guests. A few days after the wedding I was just reflecting on the day and the people who came to support us, and I wished we had done more for them. I'd always wanted to make a photo backdrop for the wedding, but it just never materialized.

Think of your cute guests. They are dressed up, looking good and happy to be sharing this memory with you. The chances are extremely high that they are going to document the event with some pics of their own, so designate a place for this. It doesn't have to be elaborate, maybe just a simple white background and some twinkling lights or flowers. They will appreciate it:) And when they post it on social media, you get bonus photos of all your guests!

Image via Ruffled Blog

But all in all, wedding days are such big productions that it's nice that these minor details are the only things that went awry. We consider ourselves pretty lucky that's all we have to regret. Do you have any regrets or warnings you'd like to pass on? I'd love the hear them!

Post Script. A half regret.
5.5. Not practicing the dip. I just couldn't get the gist of it so I kept laughing and this is what we got.. but is it wrong that I kind of like this more than the dip? :)

Salt Lake Temple Dip


  1. Having worked at a floral I know that the size of the bouquet depends on the amount of money spent so if your looking for a larger bouquet be prepared to spend a little more.

    1. Thats a good point Jess! I think a lot of people aren't prepared for the cost of a big bouquet. I know when they told me it'd be $12 a stem I was pretty shocked:)